sensual obscenities

 number 1: I'm starting my first shift on monday. yay for the money.
number 2: i'm pretty sure a "special" someone out there finally got the message.
number 3: my macbook got out of ICU and is back into my loving arms, at least, until i get my macbook pro.
number 4: cafe world is driving me nuts, staying up just so my "roast beef doesn't rot".
number 5: i had such a busy week that my feet still feel like they're walking when i'm sitting down.

and i'm heading to party world now!

Where are you my angel now 
don't you see me crying?
And I know that you can't do it all 
but you can't say I'm not trying
I'm on my knees in front of him 
but he doesn't seem to see me
But all his troubles on his mind
he's looking right through me
And I'm letting myself down 
beside this fire in you
And I wish that you could see 
that half my troubles too

Looking at you sleeping 
I'm with the man I love
I'm sitting here weeping 
while the hours pass so slow
And I know that in the morning 
I'll have to let you go
And you'll be just a man 
once I used to know
And for these past few days 
someone I don't recognise
This isn't all my fault 
when will you realise

Looking at you leaving, I'm looking for a sign

so it seems that I was the only one who still thinks we're pretty good friends.
for so long, I know you've been busy with life - so have I.
but at least I make the effort to look you up (mostly to no avail) ,call you (no one picks up) ,fix dates (which you will always not be able to make it last minute).

so I just realised I was the only one trying. trying too hard.

and all of a sudden i see facebook updates about people sending you off at the airport.
i think to myself, "Leaving for Aussie without even telling me when or saying good-bye? Highly unlikely."
I dig deeper, only to find out that, yes, I am the last to know.


forget it. maybe i was never an important enough friend to be notified when big things happen in your life.
 

 

i can't believe my life is so stale that i only update every time my heart is breaking.
 

the happier times seem so distant all of a sudden.

I leave the gas on
Walk the allies in the dark
Sleep with candels burning
I leave the door unlocked
I'm weaving a rope and
Running all the red lights
Did I get your attention
Cuz I'm sending all the signs
That the clocking is ticking
And I'll be giving my two weeks
Pick your favorite shade of black
You'd best prepare a speech
Say something funny
Say something sweet
But don't say that you loved me
Cuz I'm still breathing
Though we've been dead for awhile
This sickness has no cure
We're goingdown for sure
Already lost a grip
On this abandoned ship
Oh.
Maybe I was too pale
Maybe I was too fat
Maybe you had better
Better luck in the sack
No formal education
And I swore way too much
But I swear you didn't care
Cuz we were in love
So as I write this letter
And shed my last tear
It's all for the better
That we end this year
Let's close this chapter say one last prayer
But don't say that you loved me
Cuz I'm still breathing
Though we've been dead for awhile
This sickness has no cure
We're going down for sure
Already been diagnosed
So let's give up the ghost
Cuz I'm still breathing
Though we've been dead for awhile
This sickness has no cure
We're going down for sure
Already lost a grip on this abandoned ship

 

 

what if absence stopped making the heart grow fonder?



I don't know if i'm that happy afterall.
I feel myself covering up for us so much that nothing feels real except the distance.

from Hong Kong and my birthday bash.

will post about it soon, before they start cursing and calling me ungrateful. 

it's been 23 days since my last entry.
the longest hiatus since I've started nakedscreams, or so I'd like to think.

I don't really know.
Apart from my departure to Hong Kong in 2 weeks time there's nothing in my recent life that is even remotely interesting.
I seem to be sick of everything.
Sick of being sick, of having wasted yet another semester, or FY-fucking-P, of not being able to club with my girls, sick of the mundane lifestyle.
Then again maybe it's my brain's way of telling my body that I might actually be a LITTLE afraid of the emptiness that just might fall into place after I graduate in January. It's the weird gap in life where you wish you could just stop time for a few months for some non-stop partying before you have to move on to making the more difficult decisions that doesn't include what to have for dinner. I don't know.



Am I the only one when I say,
"I would like to procrastinate growing up, please."

 

one by one the pieces will fall
until our pride defeats us all
we learn to live without it
*
*
*
*
what's happening, again?
can somebody remind me?

 

I HAVE EVERY FUCKING REASON TO BE DEPRESSED
AND SUICIDAL RIGHT FUCKING NOW.



fuck you.
every mother fucking one of you.
 

I was trying to explain the Hawthorne Effect to the boyfriend bout 3 days ago.


And now he can't stop calling me Haw-ny Thorne Thorne.
(read Horny Thorn Thorn)



HORNY THORN THORN!
hhahahahahhaha.

I've been so busy in real life that I almost forgot about my part time online life.
In fact mostly busy with my new puppy.
Yup you heard me.
I BOUGHT A SHIHTZU!!!!!

and named her Homie.
She's a mere 13 weeks old, she's fucking adorable, and fucking un-leaveable.
So needy, so cuddly, so OMFGZXZ.


By the way I just remembered I here to whine.
That fucking cb baby mohawk gave me a C and a typically him comment like,
"Thank you for your SHORT RJ."
URGH. Like I didn't contribute enough in class. I wasn't even late!

Wow what the fuck. And I thought I was hoping to pull up my grades this sem.
Fucking biased cunt.